I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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