It's like God shit irony all over that family
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
