I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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