did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
