I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
