He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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