i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
