I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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