me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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