First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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