Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Boobs are out for the taking
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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