forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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