If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
NoShamevember. You game?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
