You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
