Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were trust falling into bushes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
