mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
