Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
