Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
