we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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