i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
