everyone is single if you try hard enough
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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