Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
