Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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