Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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