Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
