you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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