if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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