I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
