I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
