So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
