this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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