im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
