I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
