Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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