Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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