you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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