hotel room ftw
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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