He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
