i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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