im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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