It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
