Duck Duck Cougar?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im holly from the hills drunk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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