dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
