i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
