You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
