so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
