Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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