Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
