its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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