I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
